Sunday, August 14, 2016

just some shit...

Hi, I’m really sorry I didn’t wanted to write another ranting post that probably belongs much better into a personal diary which is looked away and for no one to read… but I don’t care… Noone has to read this shit after all… 

(I really, really, really wanted to write something better, though. But I can’t. I’m a looser. Probably I will never. :(  )

So, I was visiting a psychiatrist because I feel like shit (because I am (maybe atm, I don’t know)) on July 15…. So that’s a month ago by now, and nothing has changed. (And I can’t anymore. Sorry I know that it sucks that I’m writing that. Anyways.)

She prescribed me the same SNRI I had been taken in February (and March, April, May…), didn’t prescribe the TCA I had been taken then (thanks) but did prescribe an antipsychotic (why??). And she suggested I go into a psychiatric hospital (because that’s all easy and fun…?). Made the calls and printed the admission for me etc. And said I could contact her any time. (Which is nice of course.) I didn’t say a lot. I’m not sure she didn’t get confused about me.

Then, the following Tuesday (I think, or Wednesday) the psychiatry tried to call me. But I didn’t answer the phone so they (the psychiatrist herself) wrote me an e-mail that I should call her back. (She used my work-e-mail-adress for that. Which was not necessary, as they had my other e-mail... But whatever…). I didn’t know what to do, didn’t want to call back… and thought about all the trouble going there would cause… at work… people would likely know anyways (I don’t want them to know at all, I just want to complain in the internet…)… and I would have to bring down the rubbish (before I go there) and find some clean clothes (or worse, wash them)… :(

And after I managed to read beyond the CBT-part on their (the psychiatric hospitals’) website that place scared me quite a bit too. I don’t want to go to an esoteric retreat; I thought it was supposed to be treatment for depression.

So I wrote her back that I “THINK” that I “probably don’t want to go there”. (Which means as much as: I’ve no idea, I’m scared.) Anyways, she accepted that. (Which is nice.)

Then, a few days later I asked (by e-mail of course, because it’s not like I could speak) if I could possibly take more SNRI. But didn’t get a response. So about a week later, I asked for a new appointment, but still didn’t get a response. (I got all my appointments so far by e-mail.) A further week later I asked if it was ok that I e-mail and that they should please inform me, if it wasn’t. (They did reply to me before.) But I didn’t get a response.

So, my only conclusion can be, that they (the psychiatrists-office) and she (the psychiatrist) don’t want to communicate with me anymore. They must think that I deserve this, since I didn’t want to go into the psychiatric hospital (but I was scared, it is also a lot of work to go there). Or maybe they now too think that it’s hopeless and that they can’t do anything for me anymore… or they wish me dead.

Anyways… one night I wrote the secretary of the hospital where I was supposed to go and tried to explain why I didn’t go and that now the psychiatrist is probably mad at me. They replied (a doctor, not the secretary). He wrote I could possibly go into a day-clinic (where you stay during the day and go home at night) and that I could come and visit it before. And the person for the admissions contacted me and asked for some data, which I provided him with. That was last week. But since then I haven’t heard anything. More importantly… I have no idea how I could manage to go there every day. (I find it really, really difficult to go to a doctor for just a short appointment.)… or do the things they want you to do there…

(Also, I don’t know what they think… but the SNRI the psychiatrist prescribed lasted for 25 days and the antipsychotic lasted for 20 days (at half the dosage she prescribed…)… and I did ask for a new appointment… Probably it is very healthy to start and stop medications all the time….).

Anyways… the conclusion is, I fail even at this very basic “go to a doctor” thing. I make them hate me, rightly so. :(

Sorry again for writing this shit, if anyone read till here… I just really don’t know any solution. I suck. :( Sorry for that!! :(

Friday, June 10, 2016

Some (negative) thoughts....

Sorry, I’m just describing for a bit why there is no escape for me. I would not recommend anyone reading this (though I hope that I would be understood, but probably won’t anyways). (It’s not my intent to bother anyone though I understand that could be understood differently.)

(Better stop reading here…).

Ok, so the main problem is that I’m just a terrible looser who can’t do anything at all. I know that this probably sounds like I just wanted people to say that it’s not true – but that isn’t the case… more than that I’d wish that people understand that it *is* true (and then not hate me for it… though I guess if you really understand that’s not possible :(  )… My supervisor and I have different ideas about the paper I should write about the studies I did. Obviously I think that I’m right (otherwise we would not have different ideas…) whereas I find it hard to believe that my supervisor could really believe s/he’s right. But whatever… the point is I should write a paper I “believe” [There aren’t many things about which I’m as certain as about this.] is false to write (or continue p-hacking). I won’t do this. [Not so bad so far, as I think I’m right not doing it. I might be arrogant for thinking so…. But that is what I think.]

The question is, what do I do instead? And this is where there is no solution (and I’m an egoistic failure, really… (don’t want that) :(  ). I could start the PhD-thing from the beginning, though not in Germany; I could try to work in research without a PhD (i.e. not even attempting to get it anymore), though that seems near to impossible (and impossible in Germany); I could search for a completely unrelated job… (Or, of course, there are more drastic things, but I don’t think I should discuss that.) (And, in theory, I could do the psychotherapy-training… lol… :(  ). All of that is impossible… :( I could try to start elsewhere again… in theory. But starting here, where I work now, was so difficult, I really don’t want that again… I’ve never had any friends, but I got through school and university somehow (not well, but passed, obviously). However, doing a PhD (in some subjects, likely not in every subject) without any friends is more difficult in my opinion - and yes, it’s very egoistic to want to have friends, because it’s (much) more difficult otherwise. I’m a bad person!!! – because there are some tasks you can’t do alone (sometimes testing of the paradigm, some measurements, MRI etc.). (Also it is more difficult to find out which equipment exists, where it is, what the passwords are and how to use it… when no one shares any information.)

I hope that this doesn’t sound like if I wanted to blame other people (though sometimes I do… but that is bad of me as well), because it’s obviously me. Like I said, I’ve never had friends… and also, it doesn’t seem like it’s difficult for anyone else to make friends. Other people have no problem with that at all. But I needed (over?) 3 years just to recognize people… (i.e. knowing who is who. At school I never really knew who was in my class and who wasn’t.) However, by now I know who is in the same department and also generally who is who. And I’m in an office with nice people. (Not saying the others aren’t nice. It’s just easier in this office for me than in any other office I have been in before. So I don’t want that to change…). So it would be very difficult to start somewhere else again… Also, I would be quite old, by the time I’d finish… Of course I also had to explain why I want to start elsewhere again, which would be difficult… and maybe my current supervisor would be mad at me and block me from publications etc…

And I feel worse now than I did when I started, so probably it would be even more difficult than it was then (though I now know some stuff that I didn’t know than, but I don’t know if that is an advantage or disadvantage)… And I take one medication (since ~November 2010, so not since yesterday) which is only approved in two other countries besides Germany (no idea why). Which sucks, because I feel trapped here… :(  . And then, obviously, in most countries they speak languages I don’t understand. This would make it a lot harder to get to know anyone than it already is. (Probably I wouldn’t figure out basic things which are necessary for surviving… It’s not like I were good at that now. (Everyone else is a lot better…. Also people who don’t speak German at all…. And for whom it should be more difficult.) Therefore, I’m a looser…. :(  ). But since I can’t go anywhere basically, I don’t have to worry about that. What luck.

So… I could hope that my supervisors lets me write my PhD about another study (not the ones about which I don’t want to write the desired paper), because now I work in another big project (other topic) and it would definitely be enough stuff for a PhD. But my supervisor said I’m not allowed to do that, so I shouldn’t hope s/he changes his/her mind. And it’s a very big and complicated study (for me… maybe not in general… don’t know), so it will take time. The data-collection has not started yet. (Because I’m stupid…:(   ) The problem is, I don’t believe in magic, and basically the study is trying to prove that magic works. [I know that this is tautological, since I call it magic because I don’t think it will work. But I don’t think that comparison is too far of…. The study involves magic milk powder and that isn’t the worst part…]. I can already see the negative results (figuratively of course)… And should know by now that my supervisor doesn’t like negative results at all. So I shouldn’t put any hope in that… Also, I just want to leave (at least leave), besides everything I just wrote… (Just think that leaving is impossible too… doesn’t mean that I don’t want to…
(And don’t know how much longer I can survive here… Probably not for the length of a whole (complicated) study… but then, as I said, I don’t know if that would be better elsewhere… I doubt it, because a lot of things would be more difficult…. So therefore I really don’t know :( …).

And I don’t work well at all…. (Actually worse than that, but I’m too dishonest to admit that.  :(  Not that it would make a difference…. (And sometimes I wonder if I ever worked better… Maybe I didn’t. But then, there are all these folders with my attempts to p-hack the data, so I did something….).

Maybe I should see a doctor…. (because of that and because of other things… e.g. I’m feeling bad and sometimes (not always) I think things are really wrong…. But then I think, it’s not me who thinks some magical milk (which is one of the most harmless parts) will work in a study (in the way it should)…. or who ignores the recorded data... but maybe that's just arrogance... of me.). But I did that already twice this year and missed one appointment because of my stupidity. I really don’t manage to go there, atm, partly because I have to pretend to work, so I’m even more a liar… :(  But if I can’t do that now, I’d never do it if I’d live in another country where I don’t speak the language and don’t know the system… (No idea how other people who live in other countries do these kinds of things…).

So, since becoming a psychotherapist is obviously not an option, my last chance would be to search for a totally different job… like cashier or something. But I don’t know how they manage to do their job. (With all the beeping and lots of costumers and strange light…. And they’ve to speak with everyone….). Also, I think, it would be difficult for me to interact with the colleagues… I mean, in research you can at least talk about research (as a more or less common topic), but I don’t think cashiers discuss the prices of the products the store sells or something like that…. (If they do, that's nothing I'm interested in.... at least it would be learnable...)  I know basically nothing what other people know…. (I failed the “fit for school” test as a child, but not only that, I still didn’t know the answers when my sister had to do it nearly 8 years later......).

Of course there are other jobs… where you don’t have to work in a supermarket and don’t have that much contact with people…  Maybe I could work at amazon in the stock, picking up the items people ordered. (Because they haven’t had enough bad press…). I like walking (in theory), and I think it’s good that this device tells them where to go and what to get, etc. But you’ve to be able to pick up 22kg in all circumstances. I weigh very little. So they probably would not employ me for that reason alone… Maybe no one would employ me for that reason (independent from all the other reasons), because they obviously prefer someone who at least looks able to manage life….

Sometimes I think, maybe I don’t only feel sick, but am really sick (with something like the flu I mean), but probably not, and no one takes me seriously (with anything like that) anyways, so why bother… Most likely I’m just too stupid… to manage anything, like I said. So I’ll never get a job again…. Or a half-way normal life…

And then I think, maybe I’m too well, so that I have too much time to think about all that… I really don’t know. Also, I don’t think my thoughts should be expressed in any way… but I want to… because I’m egoistic… so I do things I don’t think should be done…. Maybe I could just as well write that stupid paper to make people happy (well, some), but I won’t. I really suck very much, and no one should listen to me. Hate myself…. And want to say that, but shouldn’t!! Sorry for all the stupid pseudo-justifications given here. I hate that I am like that. ;(

Wednesday, May 11, 2016


A few weeks ago Richard Morey wrote a blog post[1] about how undergraduate students in psychology learn to bullshit (i.a.) by criticizing peer-reviewed papers (which are difficult to criticize because they shouldn’t contain any severe and easily detectable errors anymore). 

When I was studying we didn’t have to write any essays or to criticize any studies. So maybe I didn’t learn about the art of bullshitting well enough. However, I believe that the problem that bullshitting is rewarded is even greater than that: Guessing an answer in an exam and bullshitting a bit around is almost always better than stating that you don’t know. 

My first MSc-exam was in Clinical psychology. I think, I had learned really well[2], but as this was an important – and also basically[3] my first oral – exam, I was very nervous. The first question the professor asked me was: "Why is the prevalence of major depression increasing?" And I didn’t know! I didn’t even know it was increasing! But if s/he asked that, that must be, right? So I mentally went through all the text-books I’d worked through, searching for the part where they explained *why* more people today are depressed then in the past. I mean, it could be anything, or nothing. More divorces, different foods, more or different industries, different expectations or stressors, different lifestyles? Vaccinations? Exams?[4] But my professor hadn’t asked for some hypotheses or my opinion but *why* that is. And I didn’t know! So I told him/her so, while I kept searching mentally in the text-books and all my notes. His/her next question was *if* I *knew* the theories for depression. As I was still desperately trying to come up with a better answer than "I don’t know" for his/her first question, I just said “yes”, because, well, I knew. At this point, I think s/he possibly felt pranked, because apparently s/he wanted me to name (or explain) those theories not be told that I knew them. Upon clarification I of course explained the theories to her/him, but I had real trouble understanding what s/he wanted from me throughout the whole exam.
It occurred later, much later, to me that s/he probably wanted to ask a "nice" first question whereby my task had been to bullshit something together, despite not knowing. Who knows *if* and *why* the prevalence truly is increasing and *if so* compared to when? 

I don’t blame that professor for my inability to understand my task correctly, so please don’t take me wrong. Of course I could have said: I don’t know… for this and that reason… one would need to know this and that to answer this question. Certainly that would have been much better, but I thought she wanted an answer to the question and not some justification why I don’t have it. 

A lot of people will say "Yeah, but you have to think beyond the facts and combine all the knowledge you have. Everybody can learn some facts so there’s no value in echoing some books without thinking about it by yourself!" And it's true, it's certainly an advantage to be able to think even during – or especially during – exams. But then at least frame the question like it. (E.g. "I'm interested in your opinion/thoughts. Let’s assume the prevalence of major depression was increasing. What could be possible factors that may – or may not – contribute to that? And how could one test if those factors actually do contribute to an increase in the prevalence? What would possible problems in testing those hypotheses be?") Otherwise it invites to bullshitting.
But then, on the other hand, bullshiting seems to be an essential skill in many aspects of life… maybe that is why they select by that….

[Sorry if that post is to bullshitty itself, obviously it’s just my opinion (and experience) and no knowledge… Also sorry for language-errors.]

[1]  Link: 
[2] Or at least A LOT! Probably much more than what was good for me… 
[3] Apart from a tiny part of my final school exams. But that was just a tiny part and therefore not nearly as important.
[4] Not really.

Sunday, April 17, 2016

"I should sell tickets to everyone who wants to see my patient"...

A few weeks ago a colleague of mine, who is a psychotherapist, told my colleagues and me about a patient of his, because he needed some help with questionnaires and other things. 

He had to treat this patient because of our supervisors wish. However, he personally thought that his patient was totally crazy proceded to explain why. Due to his explanations some other people wanted to see the patient, and he joked he should sell tickets and get rich by showing the patient to others. When he left he mentioned that it’s just not possible to have empathy with someone like that, because he can’t put himself in the patient’s position. Everyone agreed.

While this may be the most insulting (that’s my opinion, obviously not the opinion of others) thing I’ve ever heard here about a patient, it happens quite regularly that people are making fun of or laughing about patients (not everyone! But some people.). Mostly (again, my opinion) for really minor things like talking too much or misunderstandings. I’ve always felt really uncomfortable with that.

However, what irritates me is that he mentioned that he just can’t have empathy with the patient because of the patient’s behavior. That may be. I can’t understand the patients behavior either, but my understanding was, that that is (in part) why it is a disorder and not just perfectly reasonable and understandable human behavior?

Sometimes I get the feeling that psychologist as well as doctors just "understand" situations (behaviors, thoughts, …) that seems to some degree reasonable to them, and, at best, perfectly fit the diagnostic criteria for a disorder.

I don’t understand any better. But I don’t understand the slander either.

What is your opinion on this?

Thursday, January 28, 2016

What should you *ask* at an interview for a PhD position? (Part 1)

There are a lot of advice books out there which tell you what to answer to all those mean questions that you might be asked at a job interview.

They might be more or less useful. However, they never tell you what to *ask* in order to find out if a PhD-position is or isn’t a good one. (At least I haven’t found any book that tells that. And I read a lot of these books before applying to my PhD-position because relying on my social skills would have been foolish.)[1]

But don’t worry, I’ll tell you ;).

Of course this list is subjective, but maybe it can give some ideas about what could possibly be relevant to someone who is looking for a PhD-position. Because at the time I didn’t ask any of these things. I was just glad they took me... :/

This first part is related to questions about the project you are applying for... further parts will be related to the supervisor/professor and the group you are (potentially) going to work with and the working environment.[2]

Most often when you apply for a PhD-position in a specific project a short description of the project is given in the job-advertisement. But this description is generally very short and doesn't tell much at all what it's really about.

Therefore I think the supervisor or whoever does the interview should introduce you more to the topic, the background theories and how the specific question is planned to be answered.

With how I don't mean answers like "with fMRI" or "with TMS" (what most likely the job-description already tells), but a more specific explanation of the planned study design, so that you can (try to) judge if that is realistic to accomplish or not. For that purpose it would be useful to get a copy of the project-proposal. It would spare the supervisor time and you could assess by yourself if you think it's realistic. Yes, in theory any funded research project has already been through a selection process during which, among other things, the feasibility of the research idea should have been evaluated. However, that is the theory. It seems to me, that in practice no one in these selection committees does some basic reality checks. Therefore you’ve to do it by yourself. [3]However, a lot of researchers might not like to give their proposal out because they might fear that you steal their brilliant ideas. That is fine[4], but in this case I still think they should give enough background information to make judgements possible.

Of course it is possible that the study design is not yet developed (though I think at least a rough study design should be part of the proposal). I think that that should be mentioned as it involves more uncertainty then.[5]

So whether or not you get the research proposal, what are the critical points to check?

First, I think it is important information which population should be examined. Patients with rare disorders might be difficult or impossible to recruit for participation in a demanding experiment.[6] That does not mean that such research should not be carried out. I doubt that difficulty in recruitment is related to the importance of the research, but it should be taken into account: You might end up with a very long recruitment phase and/or a very small sample size. So be prepared to conduct an underpowered study...

The other important factor is how many participants should take part in the study in total in comparison to the measurement time per participant and the available lab/MRI time. In general, the longer the experiment the lower the change to get enough time to do the measurements. Also take into account that one day has 24h available hours at maximum.

As next, I would consider number of methods to be learned. It takes time to learn to analyze an fMRI design, but there might be much more you have to learn. You might have to do additional MRI-recordings and analysis.[7] Furthermore you may have to or want to run additional recordings in parallel to the MRI (like skin conductance, heart rate, breathing, or even EEG) or an additional part of the study might be done with EEG, TMS, eye-tracking, virtual reality or something like that. It might be exciting to learn a lot of methods; but it takes time. Therefore I think it is an important point to take into consideration. A finished PhD with just one or two methods is probably much more worth than an unfinished PhD with 10 half-learned methods. Of course a number of factors might influence how hard it is to learn various methods. I’ll speak about that in a later post.

It might also be important to ask if the project is already running and if so at which stage it is. I'm not saying it's good or bad if the project is already running, but it might be important information. You likely won't be involved in the experimental design then, but on the other hand data (to publish!) might be available faster (and: it's running!). The important question then is, though, to whom the data "belong", i.e. who is allowed to publish with them? This is a question that can lead to huge fights in some groups.

Speaking about already running experiments, I’d furthermore say that it is "dangerous" to start with any new method that has not been applied by anyone in the department/institute before. Even if it should work in theory (it surely should, otherwise no one would use it, right?) it might be that the hard- or software used at the institute is not compatible to what you (or the research proposal) plan. If you can check the compatibility, do so.

Also, whether you got the proposal to read or not, try to read background studies on the subject. If you got the proposal, you can find them by yourself, if you didn’t get it I think you should ask for them. The professor might tell you, that it is sufficient if you read them once you got the position (which may sound nice), but I think that is kind of too late.

Though it's still possible to terminate a PhD later (i.e. once you have enough insight into the project) it's harder because of the time you've invested.[8]
So try to find out if the background studies are sound[9], especially if it are background studies from the same department.[10] And if you have to do a direct or indirect replication of work done previously by your supervisor, run away.[11]

P.S.: Sorry for my english. I deleted about half of my text (bc too long), so I hope it makes still some sense...
And for the next post I'll complain about which handy feature the English language is missing.

P.S. 2: I really hope this is not misunderstood as advice on how to get an "easy" PhD. It's not meant to be! 

[1] [Though, reading those books was already a good start into wasting a lot of time since I was not asked any of those weird questions during the job interviews (for what I should be glad). It seems social skills are not a selection criteria*. Obviously those questions might also be pretty unvalid and unreliable, especially if more people are like me and just learn the “correct” answer from a book, but considering all the unreliability of research I doubt that that is why they are not used to determine who’s a good candidate. *They might be success criteria though. More on that later.]
[2] [This distinction is a bit artificial, but I didn't want to write an even longer post than I already wrote. Especially since not everything applies to everybody.]
[3] [Although it would of course be better if a selection committee of experts did that and not a student who hasn’t even started a PhD-training yet.]
[4] [I guess in some areas it's more realistic than in others.]
[5] [If in need for a list what can go wrong, contact me ;) ]
[6]  [For animal-studies it might be that some animals are difficult to get. For example mice with a specific gene modification. But I don’t work in animal-research, so I don’t know much about that.]
[7] [Like, for example, morphometry, DTI (diffusion tensor imaging), functional connectivity (e.g. PPI), resting state analyses (e.g. ICA), MR spectroscopy, ASL (arterial spin labeling), or another fancy (new) method.]
[8] [Time-investment sound way too nice... I don't want to scare anyone away from a PhD. Just choose the project carefully. Otherwise it might be more than just time.]
[9] [or not less so than an “average” study]
[10] [Which would not be surprising because it makes sense to build new work on previous work, but it can lead to a lot of trouble when they are... not good.]
[11] [I think more replications should be done, because every study can have positive results just by chance. Together with a publication bias towards positive findings, this means that it is hard to know which findings to trust. However, I think that replications should be independent. Or preregistered with signed contracts that any result will get published from all parties involved.]

Friday, January 08, 2016

A little workshop on data-fabrication...?

I saw something in a paper which didn't make much sense to me... Of course it is also possible that I’m just stupid and overlooking explanations... so I’ll write here what I found and you can decide on your own.

This is a table I reproduced from that paper. The reason I don’t simply make a screenshot of the table in the paper is that I could be false. And in that case I don’t want to falsely accuse the paper (or its authors) of error. 

So I tried to provide some anonymity to the paper… (for now).

Pre are measurements taken before... something... and post afterwards (if you didn't guess it). 
The same people were tested in pre and post and the sample size was 21.

What surprised me were the tiny standard deviations for some of the Variable 1 and 2, especially in combination with the range given.

So I tried to find some numbers that would fulfill the criteria given (mean, standard deviation and range) for these 4 (or 8) variables. First my "results" for the first four variables pre:

As you can see I managed to find values (for each participant) that add up to the given mean for every variable. (I should note here that the third and the fourth variable are ratings on a numerical (not visual) rating scale, so values other than other than X.0 and X.5 might not be so likely.) 

I also tried to get the SD as much to the given value as possible. You see what I was able to get. 

(SD excel is the SD calculated by excel and SD me is the SD calculated by me with help of excel, i.e. I set up the formula myself cos I didn’t know what formula excel was using. I didn’t calculate it by hand though, because there would be no chance to get a correct result that way.)

The SDs (dark blue row) I got are much higher than the given SDs for the first two variables (variable 1 pre and 2 pre).

I don’t know, obviously there’s a chance that I’m just dumb and didn’t do it correct. 

In order to get a lower SDs than those I got, I then replaced these numbers (for 2 to 20) with the mean of the first and the last value. I can’t change the first and the last value, because they are given in the table. Obviously, when I do that the mean is not "correct" anymore, but I should get the lowest possible SD (min and max value fixed) with that, shouldn't I? 

Apparently, for the first two variables the SD is still a lot higher than the given SD. (For the third and fourth variable I was able to get the same (very close, but I could have tried longer) SD as given in the table anyways.)

In the next table you can see that this is similar for these variables in post:

Just for the variables 1 and 2 (pre and post) I couldn’t find any values that met the criteria. 

So I thought maybe the authors inadvertently reported the SEM instead of the SD. Maybe it is possible to call the SEM SD because after all the SEM is a measurement of deviation which is standardized too.

Therefore I tried to get the SEM to be the value reported for the SD:
That is possible for the first to variables (pre and post) but I didn’t manage to do that for the third and fourth variable.

Maybe they reported the SEM for Variable 1 and 2 and the SD for Variable 3 and 4. I don’t know. The other possibility is that I made a mistake, obviously.

Anyways… in the paper they did t-tests with these variables. So I tried to do that too… Obviously I don’t know in which order the values were… so if I just take my fabricated values I get a far off t-value.

Sorry for my SPSS speaking German, but it isn’t important anyways (as it is obvious that this gives the false t-values):

At least I saw some significances in that output window for once… :( 

And mean, SD and SEM are about the same as in my Excel calculation.

Fortunately the paper tells me which t-values I ought to get:

So I calculated what the Sum of the (distance to the mean)² of the differences between the two conditions (pre and post) needs to be in order to get 

* the "correct" mean difference between the samples 
* and therefore also the "correct" t-value.

Here’s a table for that:

Then I tweaked my… why not call them "data" ("data" not: data) to fit these criteria.

Although I was not able to reproduce exactly these numbers, it went quite well and I got pretty close. 

Obviously there are a lot of solutions, especially if I don't meet the SD-criteria for each Variable as specified in the table (I could have tried for the 3rd and 4th variable, but I didn't).

Here (one possible set of ) the individual "data"  I used to get this values:

Btw, I gained some data-fabrication knowledge doing this (which I had not previously had!! All my data are honestly p-hacked :( :( [1]). Want to hire me?

SPSS too thinks that the new t-values are much better:

I know this might seem like a really small point... since the t-values are all possible and hopefully correct. I don't know. It's relevant for effect-size estimation, for example. 

I can be false (just to say this again, because maybe I'm not seeing something really obvious).

Another point I noticed is that they report a mean of 0.36 (SD=0.29) in some questionaire data. I can't say anything about this, since I don't know their participants personally, but seriously... I doubt it.

I found this graph which represents the answer-distribution for a non-clinical population for either this scale or a quite similar one (it's not clear to me from the paper; there is a long and a short version):

The reported mean for that scale (out of that other study) is 9.4 with a SD of 7.83). My participants (healthy controls) have a mean value of 12.4 (with min=4, max=19, and SD=3.5). Of course the mean can be lower (then there) in different populations at a different time and if especially people with probably low values in that questionaire are recruited. But 0.36 seems really low to me.

I don't know if they did some transformations on that or whatever, but it is not reported.

Oh, and even though I obviously didn't report a lot of varibles/values from that study I didn't omit a control group... it's just pre and post. 

(Again, I don't exclude my stupidity at all. Sorry for the repetition.
I thought very long about whether or not to post this, but I think the SD and the mean of the questionaire are too low...)

[1] Obviously p-hacking is bad too! I’m well aware of that. I don’t even know what is worse…

1. I didn't want to imply that the data were fabricated. I don't think so!! The title refers to what I did in this post. I think it wouldn't make much sense if the data (of the SD-variables) were fabricated, because even then they should have an SD that is possible (if I'm right that the one they report is not possible with that mean and range).  (And the reported t-value is possible with much higher SDs.)
For the mean on the questionnaire-data I think it is most likely that it is either a mistake, the data were transformed (though that is not mentioned) or the participants were influenced.
And while I'm at it, I think there could be two other possible mistakes in that paper. One is relatively clear (because they report the study protocol in a slightly different order at different points in the paper) and the other it is not certain imo.

2. Christopher at the neurotroph-blog did some R-simulations on the Standard Deviations. You can read his blog-post here.